Have You Experienced Medical Gaslighting?

Have you experienced medical gaslighting?

Introduction

Medical gaslighting is a form of manipulation that makes an individual question their very sanity, and it’s been a problem for a long time. It has been mentioned every time I’ve coached someone, and I’ve actually been present when it happened to my partner in regard to her four illnesses. It’s something that needs greater focus, and whilst it is a minority of the medical community that does this, it still needs to be dealt with.

What is Gaslighting?

Before we talk about medical gaslighting, we must first understand what gaslighting actually is. You’ve likely had this happen to you and is a sad reality of the world it seems, but hopefully I can shed more light on it.

Gaslighting can happen between anyone and between any number of people. The term originates from an old film called Gaslight in which a husband tricks his wife into believing she has a mental illness. It is a type of psychological abuse that causes someone to question who they are, their identity, their sanity, and anything else attached to those things. It is absolutely despicable, and the gas lighter usually knows when they are performing the abuse. On rare occasions I have met people who didn’t realise they were doing it, but then, I struggle to believe their words as it’s a handy defence. A surprising amount of people aren’t even aware of the concept, whilst most folks have experienced this in some type of relationship they have had, or still having.

The last individual I spoke to, in regard to management for her endometriosis symptoms, just escaped a relationship where her partner told her painful sex is normal. It isn’t, but for a time she questioned her views. There are many, many examples of these instances, and I’ve only used an illness-based circumstance due to the context of this post.

So, what is Medical Gaslighting?

Well, imagine ‘regular’ gaslighting and replace the abuser with any sort of medical professional. Medical gaslighting is when a medical authority doubts a person’s experience in relation to their symptoms, invalidates their opinion, and perhaps even blames the individual’s psychological problems for the sensations and experiences they’re having. Instead of focusing and listening to that person’s accounts, they get brushed off and sent home with nothing but the dreadful emotions the experience left them with. Just one experience can leave someone anxious, afraid, and questioning their entire lives with symptoms they thought they were feeling. It is incredibly courageous to go back into a medical environment after just one of these occurrences, let alone more. And like anything else, the minority of practitioners is darkening the reputation of the medical landscape.

Why is Medical Gaslighting so dangerous?

Aside from the brutal short-term feelings, there are some serious long-term effects that can happen as a result of this experience. People can enter a permanent state of anxiety due to their illnesses always bringing them into contact with medical authority. Medical PTSD could also manifest from this, and lead to someone avoiding all medical contact, even if it is part of their treatment structure. Self-doubt and insecurity creep in, which then infiltrate every other department of life and can affect sleep, work, eating, drinking, socializing and more.

What do you do if you have been medically gaslit?

Simply put, you report it to a higher authority than the one that gaslit you in the first place. And I don’t just mean a simple two lines on a customer comment card. I mean an email, tagged with a priority status, laying out at essay length what happened to you, mentioning by name who performed it, where, and at what time, and in relation to what.

Leave no stone unturned and take no prisoners, and if you treat it as seriously as you possibly can, there is a higher chance that they will do too. I’ve written one of these for my own partner, as well as helped many clients do it too. Sadly, you can’t (usually) film medical appointments in a sort of “dash-cam” manner, so a detailed report sent to the management involved must do. Hell, go in person if you like but I’ve found an email sent to the right individual does much better, is less invasive, and states more facts than you can in a flurry of emotions. Medical gaslighting is a calculated action, designed to make you feel worse, and that email should be just as calculating if not more so.

Also, note that I haven’t said to write a letter. Letters can be thrown in the bin, with no record of it being sent. You can pay for recorded delivery, but that doesn’t mean the contents are known, and might as well be any other letter. Emails however are recorded, and you have a record of it being sent, AND a record of what was said, when it was sent, and all sorts. With any complaint/report like this, place it on record. If it is deleted on the other side, you still have a record and can resend it over and over until you get a reply.

If you don’t get a reply after 30 days, go even higher in terms of authority – director level. Believe me, no director, senior manager, department head, chair or whoever wants a problem like this within their ranks, and so here is a truth I will impart to you. Become an annoyance. Once you become annoying, and won’t go away, you will find your issue gets solved a lot quicker. Hopefully, it won’t get to that point, and you’ll get a prompt reply that explains the matter is being resolved internally. On this matter, be as detailed as you can in your report and be persistent.

Conclusion

You might be able to tell that I take this specific topic extremely personally, I really do. I’ve long had a belief, through years of observation, that the right medical professional can completely alter the course of an individual with chronic illness. I’ve seen this happen more positively than negatively, but the fact that the negative route is even a conversation we must have blows my mind. They are there to give counsel and help in more ways than just medication. I have found compassion to be a rare substance these days, but I hope that changes.

If you have been medically gaslit, please don’t hesitate to contact me at spoonie.supp@gmail.com for advice and support through it, my door is always open. See my coaching page at https://www.spooniesupport.org/personal-coaching if you want to take the support further with your chronic illnesses.

Mark